Guitar Solos

In light of previous discussions around the apartment, and with the express purpose of writing about nothing I promised to write about, I'd like to do a little list of my Personal Favorite Guitar Solos.

In case you don't remember, I have been a proponent of the idea that some music is better than others. Though my hold on the idea is more tenuous in the wake of The Night Dave Lost Every Argument, it's important to note that if you disagree with my solo list, you are Objectively Wrong, and should make your own inferior list.

5. This is the catch-all spot for bad or silly songs that nonetheless have face-melting guitar solos. These songs have a very 80's feel that perhaps reminds me of my childhood.

"My Sharona" by The Knack.
"Blinded by the Light" by ELO.
"Jenny (867-5309)" by Tommy TuTone.
"Cold as Ice" by Foreigner.

4. "Sultans of Swing" by Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler remains one of the most underrated musicians of all time I tell you!

This song is a good illustration of one of the many great uses of music: shared cultural influence. Story 1: my roommate and I bonded almost immediately after I suggested we go see a band that night. He replied that he "don't give a damn about a trumpet playing band", and I finished off the lyric, "it isn't what you call Rock 'n Roll?" Story 2: When asked what I was eating at the cafeteria, I Knopfler-ed 'Creole. Creole.' It's the kind of inside-joke allusion that I do too often and no one knows what I'm talking about, but it worked that time.

3. "Nanook Rubs It" by Frank Zappa. I'd like to put a lot of Zappa on here, including "Sofa no. 1", or "Sexual Harassment in the Workplace", both of which are entirely instrumental. "Sexual Harassment in the Workplace" has the single blues-iest note I've ever heard, which he just sits on and slowly bends for about 13 seconds. But I'm trying to be consistent, and songs that are entirely instrumental just don't qualify.

"Nanook Rubs It" is as good an explanation of Zappa as anything, really. If you get it, you get it, if you don't, you hate it and you hate me and my musical taste. It's the absurd story of an Eskimo named Nanook who rubs yellow snow in the eyes of a fur trapper (who is strictly from commercial), and the solo manages to represent the anger and sorrow of Nanook for his favorite baby seal, as well as the 'vigorous circular motion hitherto unknown to the people in the area: rub it'. It's just an excuse to jam out, and this lick is the kind of funky jazz that you blare in your car if you're trying to pick up chicks.

2. "Bell Bottom Blues" by Eric Clapton. I had a very hard time deciding between "Crossroads", "I'm Tore Down", "Layla", "Blues Power", "Cocaine", "Steppin' Out", and pretty much everything else.

"Layla" is perhaps the best-known, which is to its detriment; you can't be cool if everyone knows and loves you. Also, the song is helped immensely by its piano, and this is a list of guitar solos. Lastly, I am still livid from an argument years ago over whether the classic or acoustic version is better. Without that opening lick, piano transition, and screaming-desperate singing, the acoustic version has always seemed like just a novelty to me.

But I had to pick "Bell Bottom Blues" because I'm partial to solos that describe feelings better than lyrics ever could. The man is blue, but you get a better sense of that through the solo than when he sings "Do you want to hear me beg you to take me back? I'd gladly do it."

1. "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd. According to legend, "Comfortably Numb" was finished by David Gilmore before it found a home in the mostly-Roger-Waters-led The Wall. Not only is it my favorite song off one of my favorite albums, but like "Bell Bottom Blues", it succeeds in creating feelings of isolation, fear, yearning for human contact, and a drug-fueled stupor. I would compare it to Raskolnikov's fever in Crime and Punishment, but that's a little grandiose, don't you think?